Smash & Dash: How to Deal with the Stress of Divorce

Dekker Financial Services |

I am a firm believer in writing things down and I am notorious for using post-it notes. I have them posted on my computer screens, my countertops, inside my car, the list goes on.  I always feel that I am freeing up more memory cells by writing myself notes, because then, I don’t have to remember it all just in my head!  I really don’t think that’s how it works, but the process of writing the note itself is what I really need. 

Writing things down, making lists and journaling are some of the most important things that we are always “preaching” to our clients, especially clients going through a crisis, such as divorce.  There are so many emotions that need to be released and writing them down, in my opinion, is key. 

So, what’s the big deal, you ask? Why not just pay for a smash room?  You can break all kinds of glass, windows, computers and more.  It’s an awesome way to get rid of stress, right? One such location advertises the “mental health therapy” of smashing.  And there may be mental health benefits associated with smash rooms, but what if you can’t funnel your stress into a 5pm – 10 pm time slot? 

That’s where journaling comes in. You can’t predict when stress will hit, so limiting stress relief to specific times isn’t ideal.

Besides the obvious reasons for dealing with stress during divorce, think about how stress affects your decision-making process.  Stress can be as damaging and intolerable, if not more so, as physical pain, which can cause you to give in to every request of your soon-to-be former spouse, just to “get it over with.”  Down the road, the consequences of this can be devastating. Those decisions you make under pressure usually cannot be “undone.”

There is also the opposite effect. You can be under so much stress you just can’t make any decisions, or you are unwilling to work together in any way because you are afraid you are going to make a mistake. 

These are the times you take a few steps to move forward. One, start writing things down and express just to yourself how you are feeling. Two, reach out to a financial professional who has been trained to help guide you through stressful times and educate you about the important financial decisions you make during divorce. Yes, we focus on the financial division of assets, but even those aren’t always black and white.  It takes a clear head to see through all the jumble of emotions and look ahead to the future.  What impact will those decisions you make today affect you tomorrow?

Please give us a call before you get to the point you just want too “smash” something. Let us walk you through the financial decisions that need to be made for a positive future. Call us at 480-897-1067 or schedule an appointment today for a 30-minute free consultation at